Devious Journal Entry

Greetings, Gummy_G_Green here, but not for long. Today a special OC Question Meme that may continue into it's own little series. This meme will be performed by 2 characters that have never actually met, performed by 2 different people. So... this should be good. I'll be sending in Flash Yoshi, and Alterchu will be here for . Flash was also nice enough to invite the crew to his tavern for the interview. Let's begin!


1. What is your full name and its origins? What about any nicknames?
Alterchu: It's simply Alterchu, I'm a pichu from an alternate dimensio-
Flash: <Interupting, in a singsong manner> From another dimension!
Alterchu: Seriously, you're just gonna interupt me like that?
Flash: I can drink coffee too...
Alterchu: .... WHERE THE HELL DID COFFEE COME FROM?!
Flash: COLUMBIA!
Alterchu: *Sighs* This is gonna be a looooong question thing.

2. Have you any claims to fame?
Alterchu: Not really... at least not yet.
Flash: I own a tavern. I mean... that's kind of cool right?

3. How would you introduce yourself? If you are famous in your world, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you?
Flash: Hi, I'm Flash, your tavern keep. Buy something or get out.
Alterchu: That's an award winning intro right there. Then again, mine would probably be "Bow to me!"... come to think of it... how would someone bow to me anyway... I'm only a foot tall.
Flash: You could always cut their legs off.
Alterchu: I'm starting to like the way you think.

4. Which of your culture's achievements do you hold in highest regard?
Alterchu: The ability to jump dimensions.
Flash: I'm sorry, I spaced out, what was the question?
Alterchu: Alcohol would be your answer.
Flash: You can't prove that.

5. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Alterchu: I actually wanted to be a super hero.... I got the power thing, but... uh.. not so much the good guy thing.
Flash: Wow, that's like wanting to be a veterinarian... but then buying up a bunch of slaughter houses.
Alterchu: I like your bloody analogy.

6. What was your most prized possession as a child? Do you still have it?
Flash: I didn't really have any childhood possessions...
Alterchu: That... kinda sucks. I had one, but I left at home to burn with my parents.

7. What would you change about yourself, if you could?
Alterchu: Honestly... I would probably say my reputation. But fear gets you respect when you're this small.
Flash: Probably my past, although its pretty bitchin now.
Alterchu: Wouldn't we all?

8. What are you obsessed with?
Alterchu: Power, Respect, Women.
Flash: Fermented Hops, Barly Wheat, mixing it up with a combat acrobatics similar to an over indulger. Love bein' a drunkin fighter. Oh, and women too... they're like my kryptonite.
Alterchu: Yeah... just something about them love puppies.

9. What is your greatest achievement so far, or the high point of your career?
Flash: Locking my own father in an alternate dimension.
Alterchu: I'm really starting to like you. Gotcha beat though, I killed both of my parents and apparently attempted murder of my sister.
Flash: I can 1-up that, I killed most of my adopted family... though on second thought they were trying to eat me.
Alterchu: Okay then, how about the fact that I've killed nearly 107,000 instances of myself. Is that like mass suicide or something?
Flash: No, I'd consider that masturbationcide.
Alterchu: *Ears perk up to that* Wait.. what the hell did you just say?

10. When/where were you happiest?
Flash: *Takes a long swig of his frosty mug* Now... pretty much. My adventure's over for the most part.
Alterchu: The first time I saw my alternate dimensional self die at my hands. The rush, the excitement, the feeling of his life force being added to mine.
Flash: Totally self masturbationcide.
Alterchu: I swear I am going to kill one of your dimensional selves if you keep that up.
Flash: Be careful it isn't me cause I have my bouncer bodygaurd Marysue Troll. She's super strong, completely invincable, and incredably fast. Though her only flaw is she is ugly and has an annoying "Trololololololol" Laugh.
Alterchu: *Singsongy* Marysue Marysue Marysue Marysue, give all the powers, and a sad story."
Flash: 1 more thing... *Slams his foot into the floorboard, popping it up and revealing a massive amount of 1-ups below* I've been stock piling.
Alterchu: *Drools* I NEEEEED one of those!

11. And the lowest point in your life thus far?
Flash: *Looks away from the camera, turning toward a brown robe aside.* I don't wanna talk about it.
Alterchu: I was beaten once by Mechachu and my last dimensional self. I survived the explosion but it damaged my sense of taste and smell.

12. What was the best decision you ever made?
Flash: Escaping the Monistary of Shadow Dancers.
Alterchu: Monistary of shadow dancers? Were they that ugly or something?
Flash: No... they were cannibals.
Alterchu: Were they hot cannibals?
Flash: A solid 7.
Alterchu: Any female?
Flash: All females.
Alterchu: AND YOU LEFT THAT?! I'D EAT THEM ANY DAY!
Flash: You're welcome to go there and get eaten by them.... oh wait, they're all dead.
Alterchu: Well... damn.

13. If you have any body modifications, which was most painful, or which do you regret the most? If you haven't got any, do you have any planned, or would you ever consider getting any?
Alterchu: For some reason people keep saying I'd look cool with a robotic arm...
Flash: I'd be cool with metal arms.
Alterchu: Like... Metal Cap arms?
Flash: Yep.

14. What is the most idiotic thing you have ever done while intoxicated?
Alterchu: Flash, this is all you...
Flash: What are you talking about... I was gonna say too many to list.
Alterchu: Exactly.

15. What is your favourite joke?
Flash: Something having to do with Martha Stewart's Vag-
Alterchu: Don't go there.... For all of our sakes... DON'T GO THERE!
Flash: What? You shocked cause you didn't know she had one?

16. What is the coolest/most impressive thing you own?
Flash: *Looks around a bit, then raises his arms in a "look around you" manner.*
Alterchu: Yeah this place is pretty bad ass.... all I own right now is my cape.

17. When did you last cry, and why?
Flash: *Looks away quietly*
Alterchu: I think I shed a tear when I set my parent's house on fire....
Flash: That's cold, pokemon.

18. What's the best piece of advice you've ever had?
Flash: Look up. A lot of people don't look up.
Alterchu: Is that some sort of short joke cause I'm a foot tall?
Flash: *Looks down at him* You know what, you take what you want out that... I WISH I was short so I can reach the change under the couch.
Alterchu: Couldn't you just use your tongue or something?
Flash: There's lint under there, that's just gross.

19. Similarly, what's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for you?
Alterchu: Oral.
Flash: How did someone kneel that low?
Alterchu: You bastard...
Flash: Furthermore, how did they find it, a microscope?
Alterchu: Oh that does it. *Alterchu's Cape forms a giant fist* Give me 1 reason I shouldn't permanently dent that nose of yours?!
Flash: *Shrugs* I've already been dead *Walks away* Oh and I have a +20 in fearless.
Alterchu: *Scoffs* Well at least I don't need to get 'em to suck liquer first to get them to suck something else.
Flash: Oh that's it, Brass knuckles are on!
Alterchu: *his cape switches to a couple of floating fists with brass knuckles as well* Oh you got it!

<Transmission Interupted>
Reconnecting.
Reconnecting..
Reconnecting...
Staticy Flash: -You little fu-
Reconnecting....
Reconnecting.....
Staticy Flash: -I may have t- -em drunk but at-
Reconnecting......
Reconnecting.......
Staticy Alterchu: -TAIL RAISING BASTARD!-
Reconnecting........
Connection Restored
Alterchu & Flash: *Both staring each other down and shout at the same time* LAST WORD!

20. Have you any vices?
Batman drinking in the corner: My parents are dead.
Alterchu: How'd you get in this tavern?
Flash: GET OUT!
Batman: I'm rich, I can buy all the beer I want.
Flash: You come in here every other night and get drunk off your ass and pass out. You have yet to pay your tab ONCE! And I can't find your wallet while your out cold to charge it!
Batman: Bat Wallet, ultra secure.
Alterchu: Why do you keep serving him?
Flash: You think he's bad, you should see Superman when he's drunk.

21. Do you regret anything?
Flash: Serving Batman.
Alterchu: Oh sure, now you do.
Flash: Oh I did before.
Batman in corner: I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Flash: He's a fun drunk.


22. What is the best invention ever?
Alterchu: Dileva, it's the name of the device used to...
Flash meanwhile in background: *Pours himself a drink from the tap, followed by a few loud gulps, concluded with a proud belch.* That's GOOD stuff.
Alterchu: Seriously? ¬_¬
Flash: Don't seriously tell my your dimension jumping device is better than this.

23. How would you describe your relationship with your family?
Flash: My mother was killed by an angry mob of yoshis, and I locked my father away in a black void dimension-
Alterchu: I've been there!
Flash: Right... so then my adoptive mother was eaten by cannibals.
Alterchu: Wait... Seriously?!
Flash: Do you mind? So then I killed all the cannibals with Lola and she was eventually killed by Bowser.
Alterchu: *scoots a few seats away* Dude, seriously, Death follows you. See? *Points to the Grim Reaper sitting at a table drinking a beer.*
Flash: Well.. he did give me a special liver.. and he is a good customer.
Grim Reaper: Can I get another beer?
Flash: That'll cost you 1 more extra life.
Grim Reaper: Better make it a stiff one then.


24. Who is your biggest inspiration?
Flash: My sensei. Never gave me his name, believe it or not, but he did teach me the art of the Drunken Fist.
Alterchu: Grumpy Cat.


25. What are you going to do when you've finished this interview?
Alterchu: Trade you my Dileva for a beer.
Flash: Hell Yes!
Alterchu: Done. *Sets it on the bar*
Flash: *Grabs it and vanishes in a flash, then reappears with a hot dark blue yoshi chick.* Look what I got!
Alterchu: Huh... her fangs kind of remind me of Evil DBY.
Ipe: Quiet you!